Answers to Some Recent FAQs About the Invisible Scar

[via Wassey]

Judging by our email at the Invisible Scar, folks have lots of questions about this site. So, we thought we’d take a moment to answer a few questions that keep coming up.

Is The Invisible Scar a professional organization?
No. The Invisible Scar is a blog with posts meant to help spread information about the prevention and awareness of emotional child abuse. This blog is meant to be a springboard for readers who’ve endured (or are enduring) emotional child abuse to realize that emotional abuse is not normal or acceptable and to seek professional help.

Why do you focus on adults?
This site focuses on both adults and children. We often address adults because most emotionally abused children will not actively seek help, so we reach out to parents to understand how to treat their children better or to adults who have suffered emotional abuse in their childhood.

Why do you focus on narcissistic personality disorder?
Though the Invisible Scar does have a subsection dedicated to this personality disorder, we do not think all emotional abusers have NPD. Though all people with NPD are emotional abusers, not all emotional abusers have NPD. In fact, some parents can change and learn how to better parent their children. However, folks with NPD never change. Also, very little is written about the adult children of parents with NPD, so we’re taking the opportunity to share what we’re learning about this personality disorder.

Do you have parents with NPD? Were you emotionally abused as a child?
The folks at the Invisible Scar have not shared their personal stories on the site for two main reasons: 1.) the website is geared to help people on their own journeys and seek professional help to guide them towards healing and 2.) the site is not a personal blog.

Your replies to comments and blog posts make me feel like I know your story. Will you share it?
See the above.

Can I share my story?
Feel free to use the comments section to engage in a conversation about emotional child abuse. Comments are moderated, though, so any hateful language, abusive talk, spamming, or bashing, etc., will not be published.

Why do you advocate therapy? I believe that prayer alone, meds alone, etc. can help me heal.
A neutral third-party who understands emotional child abuse can do wonders that even the most caring friend cannot. We advocate prayer, too, and, if necessary, meds can help deal with depression. However, we strongly suggest that those who have been emotionally abused understand that a toolbox is needed for healing. One tool isn’t sufficient. (We are not limiting God’s power, but we believe that God provides us with other tools for healing as well, such as therapy.)

Why did you just mention God? I don’t think you should mention God or religion in this site. Religion causes emotional abuse.
People cause emotional abuse, not religion. The Invisible Scar is run by Catholics, so we will mention the faith from time to time.

I have just realized that I was an emotionally abused child and am trying to cope. What should I do?
Please check out this section.

I feel so alone. No one understands what I am going through. None of my friends or family members believes me. How can I deal with this?
You are not alone. Myriad adult children of emotional child abuse have survived. They’ve unearthed the truth of their childhood, mourned what was, focused on the present, and moved forward to an emotionally healthier life. The path isn’t easy. The path can seem lonely. But you are not alone.

Why do you advocate that adult children go no-contact with their parents?
We advocate that adult children do (legally, of course) what is best for their own healing. That always means a break from their parents, though whether the break should be permanent only the adult child can decide.

We do believe that, in some situations, the adult children must go no contact with their parents if their parents have not shown remorse and a true change of behavior for an extended period of time. No one should be allowed to emotionally abuse another being, and no one should be forced to endure it.

Why don’t you respond to every comment here?
Though we read every comment on the Invisible Scar, we are often unable to answer every single comment. (We try!) Due to the deep emotional nature of the comments, we often just wish we could extend a hug to everyone and let folks know that we care deeply and pray for their healing.