Even When Abusive Parents Apologize, They Don’t

Every adult survivor of emotional child abuse would love to hear the following apology in some version or other: "Child, I'm so deeply sorry for all the pain and suffering and neglect that you endured through my actions or inactions. If I could go back in time, I'd right those wrongs, treat you with the … Continue reading Even When Abusive Parents Apologize, They Don’t

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Finding Something to Be Grateful for on Thanksgiving

Whether you're estranged from your family, limiting contact with them, or processing the truth about your childhood, Thanksgiving can be one very difficult holiday. Images of delighted, happy-to-be-together families gathered around the dining room table or playing football in someone's gorgeous leaf-filled lawn are everywhere, not just on commercials but on social media accounts, too. … Continue reading Finding Something to Be Grateful for on Thanksgiving

Party of One: How to Stand Strong in the Truth When No One Believes You

After you've awakened to the truth that you were emotionally abused as a child (and perhaps continue to be as an adult child), you will definitely encounter some hard-core resistance from some disbelieving people. These people either have known you as a child and believe the image of a happy family that your parents propagated; … Continue reading Party of One: How to Stand Strong in the Truth When No One Believes You

Fear and Guilt Will Keep You in an Abusive Relationship If You Let Them

You've long suspected something is not quite normal about your relationship with your parents. Perhaps you even sought answers and read about the signs of emotional child abuse. Now, you have come to the hard, cold realization that you've been emotionally abused as a child—and that the abuse has extended into your adulthood. So, what … Continue reading Fear and Guilt Will Keep You in an Abusive Relationship If You Let Them

From the Editor’s Mailbox: ‘Earning’ a Parent’s Love, Experiencing Flashbacks, and Explaining NPD

The Invisible Scar receives lots of emails every month, and some have questions best shared with our readers in this "From the Editor's Mailbox" column. The subject matter merits more input, and, though our main advice is for the sender to turn to therapy, we also invite helpful insight or support. Here's a look at … Continue reading From the Editor’s Mailbox: ‘Earning’ a Parent’s Love, Experiencing Flashbacks, and Explaining NPD

Bunny-Boiling Parents Will Destroy What You Love [Types of Emotional Child Abuse, Part 3]

When you look up the definition of emotional child abuse, it includes different kinds of emotional child abuse. In our Types of Emotional Child Abuse series, the first post discussed the silent treatment, and the second, gaslighting. In our third part, we will explore "bunny boiling." In a healthy parent-child relationship, a parent supports the … Continue reading Bunny-Boiling Parents Will Destroy What You Love [Types of Emotional Child Abuse, Part 3]

The Secret Grief of an Adult Survivor of Emotional Child Abuse

"I wonder if others feel the tremendous amount of loss and sadness I feel at not having the 'healthy' parent experience," writes an Invisible Scar reader in a recent email. "It's heartbreaking and my heart is definitely broken," she continues. "But, it's an overwhelming amount of grief to process and yet, it has to be … Continue reading The Secret Grief of an Adult Survivor of Emotional Child Abuse

How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren’t

If you are an adult survivor of emotional child abuse, you probably have a hard time differentiating the "safe" people in your life from ones that are crazy-makers or harmful to your well-being. In fact, you may not even grasp the concept of "safe people." That's not your fault. Raised by toxic people, you weren't … Continue reading How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren’t

10 Huge Misconceptions About Emotional Child Abuse

"How could you have been abused?" a grossly misinformed person in an adult survivor's life may say. "You had a roof over your head, food in your belly, clothes, and no one ever hit you!" But as every adult survivor of emotional child abuse knows, the essentials—good attention, unconditional love, and emotional support—were missing. Unfortunately, … Continue reading 10 Huge Misconceptions About Emotional Child Abuse

2-Year Blog Anniversary: A Heartfelt Thanks to Readers… and Some News

Dear readers, Two years ago today, The Invisible Scar was launched. For some time, I had been wanting to write a blog post on my personal site to raise awareness of emotional child abuse, but I had too much to say, too much information kicking around my head, too much of a desire to just … Continue reading 2-Year Blog Anniversary: A Heartfelt Thanks to Readers… and Some News