You Don’t Owe Your Toxic Mother a Card, Candy, or Quality Time on Mother’s Day

Whenever you see your mother, she belittles you, emotionally abuses you, treats you like a peasant, and demands to be fawned over like a queen. After you spend time with her, whether in person or on the phone or even reading an email from her, you feel very, very tiny and insignificant. You hurt inside, … Continue reading You Don’t Owe Your Toxic Mother a Card, Candy, or Quality Time on Mother’s Day

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Four Sanity-Saving Tips for Ignoring Mother’s Day

How should you celebrate Mother's Day when your mother was emotionally abusive? Short answer: You don't have to celebrate it. Short answer for adult survivors who are mothers: You celebrate your being a mom, and you reflect, pray, and learn about being a better one every day. Last year, I wrote about celebrating Mother's Day … Continue reading Four Sanity-Saving Tips for Ignoring Mother’s Day

Embrace the Quiet Joy of the Christmas Season

Judging from the surge of pageviews and long emotional emails in my inbox, I know you're hurting and wanting the hurting to stop. You're tired of the unrelenting emotional abuse and mind games that you've endured. Even if you've taken the step to create space between you and your abusers, you may still feel out … Continue reading Embrace the Quiet Joy of the Christmas Season

Finding Something to Be Grateful for on Thanksgiving

Whether you're estranged from your family, limiting contact with them, or processing the truth about your childhood, Thanksgiving can be one very difficult holiday. Images of delighted, happy-to-be-together families gathered around the dining room table or playing football in someone's gorgeous leaf-filled lawn are everywhere, not just on commercials but on social media accounts, too. … Continue reading Finding Something to Be Grateful for on Thanksgiving

Five Ideas for a Peaceful Thanksgiving

Advertisers during the Thanksgiving season present an exaggerated image of the simple holiday. Sumptuous feasts bring together far-flung relatives. The coolness of the weather chills past arguments and lets bygone be bygones. Moreover, people perpetuate this unreachable ideal by promoting glittery, heavily edited holiday images on their social networks. Unfortunately, the expectation can be so … Continue reading Five Ideas for a Peaceful Thanksgiving

What to Do About Father’s Day? (Ideas for Estranged Adult Children or Those With Late Abusive Fathers)

For weeks now, the Father's Day holiday has been advertised in the United States. Images of handsome, strong, adoring fathers flash on television screens; people share photographs on social media platforms of loving fathers, godfathers, and grandfathers. But myriad adult children are estranged from their fathers or they have only painful memories of their deceased … Continue reading What to Do About Father’s Day? (Ideas for Estranged Adult Children or Those With Late Abusive Fathers)