Whenever you see your mother, she belittles you, emotionally abuses you, treats you like a peasant, and demands to be fawned over like a queen. After you spend time with her, whether in person or on the phone or even reading an email from her, you feel very, very tiny and insignificant. You hurt inside, … More You Don’t Owe Your Toxic Mother a Card, Candy, or Quality Time on Mother’s Day
How should you celebrate Mother’s Day when your mother was emotionally abusive? Short answer: You don’t have to celebrate it. Short answer for adult survivors who are mothers: You celebrate your being a mom, and you reflect, pray, and learn about being a better one every day. Last year, I wrote about celebrating Mother’s Day … More Four Sanity-Saving Tips for Ignoring Mother’s Day
Judging from the surge of pageviews and long emotional emails in my inbox, I know you’re hurting and wanting the hurting to stop. You’re tired of the unrelenting emotional abuse and mind games that you’ve endured. Even if you’ve taken the step to create space between you and your abusers, you may still feel out … More Embrace the Quiet Joy of the Christmas Season
Whether you’re estranged from your family, limiting contact with them, or processing the truth about your childhood, Thanksgiving can be one very difficult holiday. Images of delighted, happy-to-be-together families gathered around the dining room table or playing football in someone’s gorgeous leaf-filled lawn are everywhere, not just on commercials but on social media accounts, too. … More Finding Something to Be Grateful for on Thanksgiving
Advertisers during the Thanksgiving season present an exaggerated image of the simple holiday. Sumptuous feasts bring together far-flung relatives. The coolness of the weather chills past arguments and lets bygone be bygones. Moreover, people perpetuate this unreachable ideal by promoting glittery, heavily edited holiday images on their social networks. Unfortunately, the expectation can be so … More Five Ideas for a Peaceful Thanksgiving
For weeks now, the Father’s Day holiday has been advertised in the United States. Images of handsome, strong, adoring fathers flash on television screens; people share photographs on social media platforms of loving fathers, godfathers, and grandfathers. But myriad adult children are estranged from their fathers or they have only painful memories of their deceased … More What to Do About Father’s Day? (Ideas for Estranged Adult Children or Those With Late Abusive Fathers)
The Invisible Scar 