What Really Happened: Finding Out You Had an Emotionally Abusive Childhood (and Tips for Healing)

what-really-happened-finding-out-you-head-an-emotionally-abusive-childhood-lgHave you recently come to the realization that you’ve had an emotionally abusive childhood? If so, that awakening to the truth can be brutal. But do know that you’re not alone.

At The Invisible Scar, I receive tons of emails from people who have had this epiphany. And I tell them that, though this discovery is a hard one, you can get through this difficult time and move along the healing journey.

By popular demand, I’ve collected my articles covering that first part of the healing journey—waking up to the truth of your emotionally abusive childhood —and put them in a PDF for you. The 11 articles have been updated and expanded for a longer read.

This 92-page PDF is not intended to give professional advice nor take the place of a therapist. The articles are fueled by my extensive reading about emotional child abuse, stories shared by myriad adult survivors, and my personal experiences.

Download the PDF “What Really Happened: Finding Out You Had an Emotionally Abusive Childhood (and Ideas for Healing)” for just $7.99.

Onward and upward!

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7 thoughts on “What Really Happened: Finding Out You Had an Emotionally Abusive Childhood (and Tips for Healing)

  1. Veronic, FYI, I shared this on Toxic Mom Toolkit on Facebook. Cheers! Rayne Wolfe Author Toxic Mom Toolkit



  2. I’m sure I’m not the only person to say It’s NOT ME! My perceptions WERE accurate. For almost six decades, EVERYONE said IT’S YOU. And I’m positive the others also heard: “You shouldn’t be so sensitive. You shouldn’t let people hurt your feelings. You shouldn’t let people see they upset you. Don’t react and they’ll stop getting fun out of it and stop.”

    Bullied at school, bullied at home by siblings, the unfavored middle child not the only anything (older sister, younger brother). One (not uncommon) day I came home from school, ran to my room and cried under my bed. “Oh, come on. EVERYONE at school can’t hate you.” And my sibs said, “Yes, they DO. That’s why we don’t let her come around us at school, we don’t want them to hate us too!” I know she had no idea what to do about that. But she didn’t do anything to comfort me either.

    Anyone who knew the truth about what happened in our house would have called it abusive & neglectful, but no one knew. Anytime an outsider witnessed one of these episodes it was laughed off as a practical joke or an example of how (my name) was too emotional, took things too seriously or deliberately “took things the wrong way.” My mom regularly said that if my brother been born second, he’d have been born last. (He WAS asthmatic and had other issues.) But when I correctly parsed her sentence – had he been born first, they’d still have tried for a girl, but clearly I was unnecessary – she routinely replied, “You know I didn’t mean it that way.” “No, mom, I DON’T know that. Why don’t you tell me how you DID mean it?” She’d dismiss my question as argumentative and foolish.

    Her blatant favoritism for my brother created a wedge between us that has never healed. When he and the neighborhood boys sang a nasty ditty calling me a whore, mom said to ignore it. Dad wasn’t told, my brother was never even reprimanded. She told me life wasn’t fair, these were the people I’d have to live with.

    That was my childhood. My parents are dead. My brother and sister are close, and I’m out of the loop. And that too, so they told my husband, is my fault.

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  3. I’m so sorry for the horrible way your family treated you. Even though I was/am the scapegoat in my family as well, it always amazes me that there were others who were treated horribly by their families as well. Growing up, I thought I was the only one…


  4. Its a shame when as a child, youre like a starving puppy, always running back to your mother and father, not knowing any better. I had a horrific childhood. My parents disappeared for years at a time, yes while I was a child. I didn’t realise how awful they were until I heard stories from aunts and uncles once my mother passed away. I supppse I made excuses for them. Since the reality of it all and the means to be on denial ceased, I’ve been depressed and will eventually take my own life one day. It’s inevitable. It’s what happens to people like me. I can’t help it. The damage is deep. Some parents are awful and i was unfortunate enough to have two of them.


    1. I hope you change your mind and get treatment for your depression. Look to Jesus for healing and he will do it. I like Still small voice on YT, they are heartdwellers on line. Blessings to you always.


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